We are not talking about an itchy sweater.

People don’t like discomfort. You can quote me on that. It’s a revolutionary and controversial idea, right?

When something makes you uncomfortable, you want to get rid of the discomfort. To do so, you can either destroy the thing that makes you uncomfortable, or you can destroy your discomfort.

I’m not talking about an itchy sweater. I’m talking about people who are different from you. It could be how they worship, the language they speak, their cultural traditions, or many other things. Like their gender identity.

I’m writing about this today because hate and bigotry toward transgender people is on a rapid and troubling rise. News broke this week that Trump is considering a new ban on transgender people serving in the military on day one of his upcoming presidency.

There is no fact-based reason to ban transgender people from this type of work. All the evidence, including the current and long-tenured service of 15,000 transgender people, goes against such a ban.

The only reasons for such a ban are emotional. Specifically, irrational fear stoked by people who seek to control you by amplifying your existing discomfort.

There’s discomfort in not understanding people who are different from you.

Weak people dehumanize and attack people they don’t understand. It’s easier to rationalize your discomfort by blaming a made-up bogeyman than it is to admit you may not be as open-minded and inclusive as you like to believe.

Courageous people acknowledge their own limitations and allow for a reality in which people who are different from them exist. Courageous people recognize the humanity of that person and face their difference with curiosity rather than fear.

There’s discomfort in not understanding a person who is different from you. People don’t like discomfort.

To stop feeling that discomfort, you can either destroy the thing that makes you uncomfortable, or you can destroy your discomfort.

We are not talking about an itchy sweater.