Unconventional or uninformed?
Last week one of my clients told me that my unconventional take on the future self gave him a lot to think about.
Along with courageous and fierce, the word unconventional is not one that people typically use to describe me. I certainly would never have used it to describe me.
At least, not until he said that. Now, I’m not so sure.
“Unconventional” sowed a seed of self-doubt
I always feel some guilt and shame when a client or colleague quotes a well-known book by some famous thinker. They always expect me to be intimately familiar with the quote and its source, but most of the time my response is, “No, I’m not familiar with that. But I’ll check it out!”
[ Narrator: He does not “check it out.” ]
This is probably as close as I get to imposter syndrome. Despite the breadth and depth of my career and life experiences, I can still feel a twinge of self-doubt because I do not have any advanced degrees, and I don’t throw around quotes from famous people in regular conversation.

Quoting an authoritative figure lends authority to your own thoughts by association. It’s a useful technique to let people know you’re well educated on a topic. It’s also a useful technique to fool people into thinking you know more than you actually do.
It’s the kind of thing people use to create connection (we both have studied this thing) or to claim power (I have studied this thing, but you have not).
Quoting someone else can be used to open up discussion or shut it down. The quote becomes either an old thought that spurs new thought or a door closed against creativity and innovation.
I’ve been on the receiving end of both. You probably have, too.
So when my client said my article was unconventional, I wasn’t sure at first if he meant I was naive and uninformed, or if he meant I was expanding his worldview with a new way of thinking.
[ Narrator: He meant the latter. ]
Learn from others and observe for yourself
I value education and believe that if I have seen farther, it’s because I’ve stood on the shoulders of giants. I also believe that the conventional wisdom is often wrong; education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.
To find yourself, you must think for yourself, and whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. The idea of education, after all, is to learn to think for yourself. The difficulty lies not in new ideas, but in escaping from old ones.
Ultimately, I know my time is limited, so I don’t want to waste it living someone else’s life.
[ Narrator: That was an impressive mix of quotes from famous people. ]
[ Me: Thank you. ]
Whether you’re unconventional or something else, be you
So, am I unconventional or uninformed? Both? Neither? A blend of both? Or, is it situational?
My client’s offhand remark set me thinking about how different people view authority, knowledge, and experience.
I’m one of those people with some book learning and a lot of life experience. I know other people with the opposite. Just like I know people who have been in one job for 30 years and others (like me) who have changed careers five times.
The problem is not that people have different approaches to life. The problem is when someone treats their own approach as the only correct approach. Or, the opposite: they believe they’re less than because someone else did it differently.
Hoo boy, those two things are at the root of a lot of interpersonal conflict and self-sabotage.
I think it’s far more important to know who you are, what you value, and that there’s no single valid approach to life. Just the opposite, in fact. It’s the variety and diversity of humanity that makes life truly interesting.
So, I think that my goal is not to try to be something I’m not, or to spend my life trying to live like other people. No.
When I get to the end, I want to be able to confidently and unapologetically say, “I did it my way.”
[ Narrator: oh no you did not just say that ]
[ Me: oh yes I did ]
Connect with me
Free consultation
Looking for more fulfillment, joy, or direction in your life? Want to be a more courageous leader? Contemplating a career change? Have a book in you that you need to write? I can help. Schedule a free coaching session now.
Free core values exercise
This simple worksheet helps identify your core values. Many of my clients find it surprisingly eye-opening, and it’s helped people make some big life decisions. Get it here.
Download my chapter from RELIT free

RELIT: How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue gives practical, relevant, actionable advice on avoiding and overcoming compassion fatigue and caregiver burnout. As a professional coach, I have to pay close attention to self-regulation and my own personal resilience. My chapter explains the things I do to stay centered and stay focused so I can give every client my best, every time.
Download my chapter for free: Show up. Try hard. Be nice.
2 Comments
Aerin · February 5, 2025 at 6:17 pm
OMG, that’s so sweet, but you don’t have to call me a giant. *blush*
PS – my shoulders still hurt from you standing on them. sending you the chiropractic bills.
Peter · February 6, 2025 at 9:19 am
LOL happy to pay them. Or help fix it myself.