Avoid catastrophizing and magical thinking with these two questions

People think of catastrophizing and magical thinking as letting your imagination take control of your decision-making, either out of fear (catastrophizing) or toxic positivity (magical thinking).

Often, however, catastrophizing and magical thinking stem from a failure of imagination. What gets people spiraling into irrational decision-making is an inability to think more broadly about some fact they’ve been presented.

How you present a fact can be far more influential than what that fact actually is.

I am not talking about “alternative facts” or making shit up. Don’t do that. That’s lying. Lying is bad.

How you talk about an objectively true fact, however, changes the meaning of that fact for the people you’re talking to.

An example of catatastrophizing

This morning I read two terrifying facts about caregiving someone with dementia. Dementia is a one-way trip; you don’t cure dementia. If your loved one is diagnosed with dementia, you know you’re in for an ugly journey, and you know there’s only one way it ends.

The two facts I saw were these:

• About 40% of caregivers suffer from depression.
• Between 30% and 40% of caregivers will die before the person they’re caring for dies.

Terrible and demoralizing, right? How can someone who’s starting a caregiving journey have any hope of getting through it? You’re already feeling like life handed you a shit sandwich. These numbers just show you how much more shitty it’s going to be than you first thought. But at least you may not live long enough to see it all the way through, so you have that to look forward to.

Imagine your spouse was just diagnosed with dementia, and when you go looking for support these are the facts you’re served up. You’re being nudged toward catastrophizing, whether you know it or not.

Now, here are two more facts about caregiving someone with dementia:

• The majority of caregivers successfully avoid depression.
• The majority of caregivers will have a life after their loved one is gone.

These are somewhat less terrifying, aren’t they? You’ve been handed a shit sandwich, but there’s at least some hope you can get through it. Others get through it, and they may even get through it okay, with some light on the other side. In fact, the majority get through it.

Imagine your spouse was just diagnosed with dementia, and when you go looking for support these are the facts you’re served up. Not only are you unlikely to spin out into catastrophizing, but you may stay in a place of rational self-regulation, realizing that life will continue after the inevitable happens.

A fact is a fact regardless of presentation

Now, you’re a smart person. I know you’re smart because you’re reading my blog, and only smart people read my blog. So you likely noticed that both pairs of facts represent the exact same truth.

It’s true that about 40% of caregivers suffer depression. It’s also true that the majority of caregivers (60%) don’t. It’s true that 30% to 40% of caregivers die before the person they’re caring for. It’s also true that 60% to 70% don’t.

The same objectively true facts, viewed from two different angles.

Neither presentation of the facts is inherently better than the other. Both presentations reflect truth in an accurate way. Better is a label that requires context.

Which of these two presentations would be more effective…

• when trying to raise awareness of a public health crisis?
• in a fundraising pitch?
• when educating caregivers just after a diagnosis?
• to get clicks on a news headline?
• in your own self-talk?

It depends on the reaction you want to get from your audience… even if your audience is just yourself.

And if you are the audience, then it’s your responsibility to engage your imagination in interpreting the facts that are presented to you, in order to avoid spinning out into catastrophizing or magical thinking.

The two questions I promised

I promised you two questions to ask in order to avoid the twin sirens of catastrophizing and magical thinking.

Catastrophizing leads you to see only dire problems and negative outcomes. Magical thinking hides the possibility of dire problems or negative outcomes. (I’m oversimplifying, of course. It’s a blog, not a PhD thesis.)

The first of my two questions is What else could be true?

That question encourages you to deeply examine your assumptions and limiting beliefs to uncover additional facts you may be missing. When you don’t ask this question, you’re taking power away from truth and giving it to your prejudices and beliefs.

In my example above, you may start considering what factors go into those percentages (wealth, co-morbidities, age), when the stats were generated, and what things you can do to end up on the good side of that dividing line. Catastrophizing drops you into expecting you’ll get the bad results no matter what you do. Magical thinking makes you believe you’ll be in the good group without taking any actions. Rational thinking puts you in a frame of mind to make rational plans.

The second question is How can I view this fact from a different angle?

This question encourages you to consider how your current view of a true fact may be limiting or distorting your understanding of reality. When you don’t ask this question, you may be limiting your imagination of what could be possible.

In my example above, simply inverting the numbers and using more generalized and positive wording completely changes how someone may interpret them. Holding both interpretations at the same time leads to more balance in your perspective, which leads to better decision-making.

It’s about shifting perspective

We’re humans. We get spun up in crisis and highly charged situations. Pausing to ask these two questions will result in a broader perspective on whatever you’re in the middle of. Broader perspective will lead to better decision-making, stronger resilience, and fewer regrets.

So the next time someone accuses you of catastrophizing or indulging in magical thinking, don’t lash back that they’re ignoring the facts of the situation. It’s very likely they have facts you aren’t aware of, or they are viewing the available facts from a different angle.

So take a moment to pause and ask yourself these two questions.

What else could be true?

How can I view this from a different angle?

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