Death really gets in the way of living

Published by Peter on

The only thing better than seeing a local stand-up comedy show about grief and death is when your partner takes you to see it on Valentine’s Day.

Yes, that was the date she took me on last Friday. The comedy was better than I expected. But I’m not here to talk about that.

Today I’m thinking about how death—or, more specifically, the fear of death—gets in the way of truly living.

I, personally, am not afraid of being dead. I am terrified of suffering and pain, but being dead doesn’t seem at all scary to me.

A tombstone bears the words "Please do not climb on the monuments. Thank you."
I won’t have a tombstone, but if I did it would definitely be something like this and end with “thank you.”

I view being dead as simply non-existence. The world did just fine without my existence up until 57 years ago, and it will do just fine without my existence for the next five billion years (when the sun will explode).

Even so, mortality is a funny thing. It really gets in the way of living a fulfilling life.

If you haven’t come to peace with your mortality, you may waste your whole life trying to avoid it. You can’t. We are all going to die.

a one-way sign points toward a cemetery
You don’t have to go now, but you do have to go. And you can’t come back.

So, what do you want to do with the time you have?

A lot of people spend it chasing happiness instead of living in happiness. Others work hard to build a legacy so their name lives on, even though they will not. Others spend so much energy trying to stave off death that they have no energy left to experience joy right now.

Two books that show different ways to live a fulfilling life: one is "how to relax" and the other is "how not to die."
Two very different approaches to the same problem. This photo says so much about our culture.
So. Much.

How do you find your own balance between living in the moment, preparing for tomorrow, and building a legacy?

It’s complicated. And about as individual and personal as things get.

It starts with coming to peace with the fact that someday you will be dead. And that will be permanent. Forever after. It’s a one-way road.

So, what do you want to do with the time you have left? What makes up a fulfilling life in your mind?

It’s pretty unlikely you know when your last day will be.

When do you want to start living that fulfilling life?

Might as well be today. Don’t you think?

I’ve just finished the draft of a book on how to create and live your fulfilling life. It includes the best and most popular articles from this blog as well as new material and several exercises I haven’t published before. I am looking for beta readers. It’s short, but it will challenge you to think!

Email me to let me know you want in.

All I ask in return is that you (a) actually read it, (b) give me whatever comments you have, and (c) give me a blurb if you honestly like it.

I am especially looking for people who’ve had a successful first half of their lives and now want to shape the second half of their lives with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. I’d also love to have several other professional coaches read it.

Free consultation

Looking for more fulfillment, joy, or direction in your life? Want to be a more courageous leader? Contemplating a career change? Have a book in you that you need to write? I can help. Schedule a free coaching session now.

Free core values exercise

This simple worksheet helps identify your core values. Many of my clients find it surprisingly eye-opening, and it’s helped people make some big life decisions. Get it here.

Download my chapter from RELIT free

RELIT: How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue gives practical, relevant, actionable advice on avoiding and overcoming compassion fatigue and caregiver burnout. As a professional coach, I have to pay close attention to self-regulation and my own personal resilience. My chapter explains the things I do to stay centered and stay focused so I can give every client my best, every time.
Download my chapter for free: Show up. Try hard. Be nice.


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