This stressful election season affects us all

My partner and I had an emotional discussion over the weekend. She has been navigating some stressful things.

When the emotions in the discussion got intense, the cat rose from where it was sleeping on the other side of the wide patio and came over to nuzzle against my partner’s legs.

I have long believed, and there is some evidence to support, that housecats instinctively pick up on the emotional vibe of a situation and act to offer support in the form of purring, cuddling, nuzzling, etc.

I don’t know if this is more of a comforting behavior (“please feel happier, human”) or a self-centered behavior (“your mood is bringing me down, human, and I want you to stop it”).

Cats do a good job of seeming to love you while persistently being little assholes. They’re hard to read.

In any case, they do seem skilled at picking up on the vibe of a situation and reacting to the emotional context as much as to whatever action seems to be going on in the moment.

We humans? Meh.

“Something is about to explode”

Last Friday, I met with a long-time client who described a new but persistent and discomforting feeling that I can best describe as “things are going so unusually well that something is about to explode.”

Everyone in his life and work was being extraordinarily agreeable, saying yes to everything he asked. These weren’t unreasonable asks, mind you, but he just felt a general lack of trust in life, that life was setting him up for a sucker punch right in the nose.

And doesn’t it kind of feel like that right now?

Tension is in the air, everywhere

As this contentious, messed up, chaotic, surreal, stressful election enters its last two weeks, doesn’t it feel like there’s an undercurrent of unease even in the most routine settings and situations?

Even if you ignore the news, even if your colleagues are good about leaving their politics at the door, even if you’re surrounded by empathetic and supportive people, there’s a tension permeating everything.

Like that gently disturbing essence of smoke you smell when there are wildfires burning a hundred miles away. Irritating, unavoidable, ubiquitous, and unnerving. But so subtle you don’t even notice it most of the time. You begin to think of it as normal, even though it’s not.

Like being in a workplace where you sense that big layoffs may be announced soon, but no one knows for sure. Uncertainty creeps into every decision and every thought whether you realize it or not. Concentration is hard to hold onto.

Like the low buzz and flicker of a flaky fluorescent bulb in a brightly lit space. There’s something wrong and unfixable pricking your peripheries, a nagging nuisance that exhausts you just by its existence.

Channel your inner housecat

I reminded my client that the stressful election has everyone a bit on edge, and he thought that, yeah, maybe, that could be part of what he’s feeling. He seemed unsure, despite having strong opinions about the election.

I am quite confident it’s playing some role. It’s a form of compassion fatigue that grows slowly and quietly and then robs us of our own ability to self-moderate. It saps our ability to be objective, even about ourselves.

It’s different from the stress radio, but just as exhausting.

There’s not a lot we can do in the next two weeks as individuals to change this atmosphere around us. But we can take steps to keep ourselves from being overly affected by it, and in doing so we may help others to feel a little less on edge, too.

That is, channel your inner housecat. Pick up on the vibe around you, and instead of contributing to the tension, try to cool it down.

I’m not suggesting you purr or cuddle or nuzzle your coworkers. (Don’t do that!)

But maybe be just a little extra aware for the next two weeks when people around you need a small, comforting gesture. A compliment, perhaps. A helping hand. Some alone time.

If we each take a breath and realize how this stressful election is amplifying every minor stressor right now, and we choose the path of less conflict in our everyday interactions, we my find we are able to stop distrusting life.

At least for a few minutes. And that might be enough.

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